Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Randomize
