I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm jealous of your bromance
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
