I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
do nipples grow back?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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