There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
