You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize