I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize