guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
