2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm experimenting with sincerity
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
