gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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