then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
