i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
