Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
