you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
