when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
