ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
