think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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