she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
