Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
