I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
