Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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