Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
