the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize