Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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