are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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