I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize