she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
