Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
