So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
