I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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