i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
