this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
