You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
