I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
