hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
