brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
