Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
