Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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