is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
