ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
