would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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