Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
