You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
