that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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