Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
