I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
