Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
