whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
