I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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