at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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