I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
whose parrot is this?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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