She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
