Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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