Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
