Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Randomize
