you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
there is puke in my bra ... again
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