If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
no, he came in my armpit
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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