You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
