I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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