i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
