watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
