Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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