I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Come on in and take your pants off
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