i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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